I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
BRING THE BAGELS
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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