hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
