I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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