yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
