never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night