This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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