Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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