I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
