Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
