i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
