eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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