we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
