dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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