Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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