so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
