thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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