So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
