No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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