Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
