i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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