Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

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(217): My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building. http://tfl.nu/he38

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(213): View more from California

whats up tonight?

(408): View more from California

Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind

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(213): whats up tonight? (408): Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind http://tfl.nu/m6ab

Replies (2) Good night (1025) Bad night (432)
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(562): View more from California

So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.

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(562): So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later. http://tfl.nu/b9wm

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(406): View more from Montana

What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?

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(406): What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name? http://tfl.nu/6xxw

Replies (10) Good night (4433) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

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(248): your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood. http://tfl.nu/qlw2

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(303): View more from Colorado

Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...

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(303): Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked... http://tfl.nu/a2s8

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.

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(908): I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/fc4o

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(914): View more from New York

my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.

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(914): my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person. http://tfl.nu/80cc

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(406): View more from Montana

He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.

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(406): He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana. http://tfl.nu/b27k

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

(734): View more from Michigan

Your friend and I already don't get along

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(404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I already don't get along http://tfl.nu/d3pe

Replies (4) Good night (3296) Bad night (559)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.

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(860): I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off. http://tfl.nu/qi2a

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(910): View more from North Carolina

There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home

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(910): There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home http://tfl.nu/98yp

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out

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(828): Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out http://tfl.nu/cm81

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(+81): View more from

Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.

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(+81): Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/zx1z

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(510): View more from California

Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.

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(510): Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day. http://tfl.nu/eul1

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