don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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