i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
