I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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