we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize