what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
