After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
