accomplished twins. life is a go
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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