Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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