It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
