can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
