just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
