I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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