Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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