Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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