i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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