What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
