I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
