More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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