I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
