my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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