Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
