i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
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He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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