Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my being single is dangerous.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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