Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
