Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wear drunk well.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
