U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
