I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize