i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
