i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
