I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
