3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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