Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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