Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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