at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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