But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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