3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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