I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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