Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
