my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize