He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
