using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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