you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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