Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
