it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There r osticjed everywhere
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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