He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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