Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
